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How to choose the right sex toy?

by Ariane Fortin 1 comment

So, you decided to purchase a sex toy for yourself or for someone you love? Good for you!

We believe pleasure is a very important and healthy part of life and that everybody is entitled to discover what type of pleasure they like the most - talking about the sensual/sexual realm, of course! If this is your first time buying a sex toy or if you are purchasing a gift, this might be a challenging task since there is a multitude of options on the market. Keep reading, we compiled a list of things to look out for when shopping for a sex toy! If you are looking for a trustworthy store to buy a sex toy from - apart from yours truly - make sure to visit our Reseller’s page.

Budget 💰

Your budget will definitely impact the choices you have, but a smaller budget doesn’t mean you should compromise on your body’s health and pleasure. There are great options out there, for example Satisfyer or Gaia’s silicone toy. And don’t be shy to ask your favorite sex shop for more suggestions!

Material 🍆

When buying a sex toy, it is incredibly important to get one that is body safe! The sex toy industry is NOT regulated and manufacturers can put pretty much any type of material they want in their toy to: lower manufacturing cost, get an interesting texture, a certain type of firmness, a particular aesthetic, etc. The top safe materials are: porcelain, medical grade silicone and stainless steel, as well as glass (pyrex). We dedicated a whole blog post about How to Choose the Right Material for Your Sex Toy, so make sure to have a look!

The material will also affect the type of lubricant you can use, this will probably not affect the final choice you will make but keep this in mind if you decide to combine toy and lubricant (which we do recommend). If you are interested in learning more about lubricants, make sure to read our Quick Guide and if you are shopping for a local one Click Here!

How a toy is made will also affect how you can clean it! Perhaps not the most important thing to think of when shopping for a new toy, but still something to keep in mind. Unsafe toys will often be made from porous materials and therefore will not be easy to clean! 

Attributes 📝

Apart from the material and budget, there are a myriad of things to consider when buying a toy. Here are some questions to ask yourself:

  • What kind of stimulation/pleasure do you already like?
  • Will you use the toy by yourself or with someone else?
  • Do you want vibrations or not?
  • If you do, do you want to be able to recharge the toy or prefer using batteries?
  • What is visually appealing to you (color, realism, etc.)?
  • What physical attributes do you want (size, length, girth, etc.)?
  • Do you want to be able to use it in water?
  • Do you want to use it internally, externally or both? 


Vibes ⚡

A vibrating toy means you need power, if you want a more eco-conscious toy, buy one that is rechargeable (or that is plugged in) instead of one that uses batteries. And make sure your vibrating toy is waterproof if you want to use it in the shower or bath. There are also A LOT of different kinds of vibrations - they vary in their power and intensity, but also in the way they pulsate. Regarding vibrations, keep in mind that if you want to get a toy for G-spot, A-spot or P-spot stimulation pressure is more important!

➡️ If you never tried vibrations, the first few times might feel overwhelming. It’s normal, your body is not used to the strong stimulations the vibrator will create. We have two advice regarding this situation:

  • Make sure the vibrating toy you buy can stimulate one pleasure point at a time. A lot of women purchase the “rabbit”, as seen on popular TV show Sex & The City, but never enjoy it because the stimulus of both the clitoris and the G-spot at the same time is too much for them.
  • If the vibrations are too intense for you, even at the lowest setting, you can try it over your underwear. The fabric will create a barrier that will reduce the intensity of the vibrations.


Pleasure 👅

What kind of pleasure stimulation are you looking for - something familiar or something new? Most women and people with vaginas have orgasms through clitoral stimulation and we know it can be hard for some people to find their G-spot. That’s why dildos (like the Dalia) are great options because the curve will help you stimulate this area and perhaps reach orgasm in a new way.

You can also look into dual stimulation with penetration and vibrations, or anal play. 🍑

Pleasure stimulation can also be varied through temperature play! Not all toys allow this option though, but materials like porcelain and glass will. It can be quite delightful and surprising to use a toy that is hotter or colder than your body’s temperature. 

💡 Did you know? Using a cold toy will create a blood rush in the vagina’s vessels and can help to increase your orgasm.

Ask others 💬

If you have hesitations about your final choice, there are alot of sex toy reviewers out there who tested a tone of toys, so you don’t have to! The good ones will provide an honest in depth description of the toy itself, how to use it and what kind of sensations it provided. We have a list of Reviews here, if you’re not sure where to start. Otherwise, make sure to check out Dangerous Lilly who provides honest reviews, as well as Super Smash Cache and Venus O’hara!

You can also ask your friends for recommendations if you are feeling up for it or go to forums such as Reddit. There is a sub forum called Sex Toys with lots of questions and information from other people! And if you are buying the toy for someone else, perhaps ask them if there is something that they like or want to try?

Final thoughts 🤔

If you are completely new to the world of sex toys and don’t know yet what you like, perhaps buy something that can be used in different ways. G-spot vibrators are, in this case, a good example because they can be used internally and externally with vibrations or you can turn them off if you want to only use the pressure provided by the dildo.

Finally, there is a saying that goes around saying: friends don’t let friends buy sex toys on Amazon! But this could also be said regarding Ebay or AliExpress. Make sure to always buy your intimate products from a reputable store; Come As You Are, Spectrum Boutique, She Vibe, Bonjibon, Fuck Yeah or Sex Positive Shop to only name a few. We particularly like the ones that are feminist, lgbt+ friendly and that have an educational side (it just shows they care).



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1 comment

03 Mar 2021 Zhana Wells
this article is so helpful for me … now I have my solution to what I have to do…

Thanks for sharing this article. keep sharing this informative article.

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