Performance anxiety series, part 3: How to overcome Performance Anxiety
In this third part of our Performance Anxiety series we'll talk about how to disrupt it. It is ''pretty simple'' in fact, all you need is to reconnect with your body, your sensations and more importantly, with your brain.
↩️ Read part 1: How our view of sexuality is created
↩️ Read part 2: Big "O" propaganda
Getting yourself in the “present moment” is the best way to mute those performance ideas that were induced by the media and society. To learn how to connect with the ''now'', we suggest that you start a meditation practice; even just 5 minutes per day should do it. If you are new to the concepts of meditation, you can start with “guided” meditation, you will find a number of those on YouTube or you can download an app.
Reconnect With Your Senses
Another way to get back in the present moment is by concentrating on your senses. Masters and Johnson developed a therapy that is perfectly applicable in this instance: Sensate Focus.
“Sensate focus is a sex therapy technique introduced by the Masters and Johnson team.  It works by refocusing the participants in their own sensory perceptions and sensuality, instead of goal-oriented behavior focused on the genitals and penetrative sex. Sensate focus has been used to treat problems with body image, erectile dysfunction, orgasm disorders, and lack of sexual arousal.  ’. —Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensate_focus
Sensate focus has similar approach to more renowned sexuality-related movements like Slow Sex and Mindfulness. Our team is currently writting an article about those movements, subscribe to our newsletter to be the first to know when this article will be out.
Try a ‘No Orgasm’ Policy
In her book, Come as You Are, Emily Nagoski suggest to one of her friends who has difficulties achieving orgasm to simply put in place a ‘no orgasm’ policy. By stating at the start of your intimate session (with or without a partner) that you don’t want to reach orgasm, you’ll focus more on the moment. Of course, if an orgasm does happen, just enjoy!
We hoped this post helped you realize that yes performance anxiety is real, but there is definitely ways to reconnect with your sexuality.