Anxiety & Libido
Anxiety & Libido
Sex is often seen as an effective, even magical way to reduce stress. Indeed, during sexual intercourse or masturbation, our body produces endorphins, known as happiness hormones. Serotonin and oxytocin (other hormones related to happiness and relaxation) which are produced after orgasm and explain this feeling of well-being that helps reduce stress.
All of this is great. But what do we do when our mental load is so heavy that our mind is paralyzed by stress and anxiety, and our libido is nowhere to be found?
First of all, any form of anxiety, medicated or not, diminish the libido levels. This is caused whether from a surplus of adrenaline caused by the constant stress or from the side effects of the medication. To change this situation you have to get to know yourself through this disorder and find solutions to relearn how to have fun. Recognizing that your anxiety impacts your erotic life is the first step. After that, you have to experiment with various techniques to win back your libido.
All the tips listed below are very personal. I am not a sexologist, psychologist or therapist of any kind. On the other hand, I am an anxious person myself and had to face certain libido problems following my diagnosis.
See what suits you!
* If you think you suffer from anxiety, do not hesitate to seek professional help from a mental health professional.
Tips to free your libido from the effects of anxiety
Know your body and desires
Above all, it is important to know your body. It's very cliché, but after years you may discover that you have other erogenous zones and that changing your masturbation/pleasure routine could help you counter your loss of libido. Take the time to explore, it's not because you always have an orgasm in a certain way that another method is bad or not worth trying. This will help you be more present rather than mechanically gesturing towards getting an orgasm while thinking about your grocery list. For meditation enthusiasts, this principle is called "mindful masturbation”!
➡️ Click here to read our blog post on Masturbation 101
Communication, communication, communication
It is important to be able to express to your partner your libido problem, because he or she will be part of the solution to help you feel better in this situation. Keeping your discomfort to yourself can result in pressure feeling like you "have to" have sex that will not satisfy you, as you will constantly want to finish quickly without having fun. Opening yourself up to others and expressing your preferences and when you are more likely to have sexual urges will make you feel relieved and will decrease your performance anxiety.
Give yourself the gift of “me time”
Often, when we have a low libido, we just assume that it’s how it going to be from now on and we do not try to counter it. It's good to listen to your body, but also to take time to think about it. Plan a moment with yourself to question your needs and desires. Without forcing yourself to have a masturbation session that is unsatisfactory, this moment aims to slowly offer yourself a moment focused on your sexuality. Pro Tip: Plan this moment in your calendar and close your cell phone during your appointment with yourself.
If you want to regain your libido, it is certainly necessary to work the other spheres of your life, it will not be done by force of "more masturbation" or "to have more sex". No. Take care of yourself, exercise, eat healthy, take time to meditate and do activities that make you feel good. It is important to take care of yourself and this will certainly help you regain control of your sex life.
Hoping that at least one of these advices will help you!
PS: Do not forget, the person in a porn movie that wants to have sex 24/7 is a tale of fiction! Do not pressure yourself and be open to discuss with your partners to avoid insecurities!